So long

I don't think I will write in this blog anymore, since it is misnamed for my future life which will probably not involve being on the southernmost continent. I will make another silly blog that I most likely won't write in very often. 

Tonight I sat in a room with 20 firefighters at a goodbye party. They were sitting in the dark drinking from a handle of Jack Daniels and forcing each other to tell sex stories. I was going to work in a few minutes. I learned that one lieutenant considers a girl fat if she's 80% of his body weight, and that Saunders caught his parents making out one time. They have not touched a woman in a long time. 

I am a California girl as I have realized that what I miss most is smoothies. 

jeez

I just ate another piece of probably 10 year dead chicken and felt a little gaggy. It is time to return to the world again and eat things that just grew on trees and smell smells and go hiking. New Zealand in seven days and counting. 

Also, it is Valentine's day. I am making a card out of copy paper and highlighters. Happy February to everyone, happy Valentine's day if you like it. 

I think I only got into college because I had smart friends

It is disconcerting how poorly I handle night shift. What is night shift, really? Just being alone a lot. I am proud of people who do well with being alone. I think that people are meant to live in herds. Why else are we slowly migrating in like moths to a flame? People over generations are tumbling towards city life, leaving even the most beautiful of places for the creations and elations of the pack. Mystic hermits notwithstanding there is something we need other people for. Particularly me. I seem to need other people in order to be happy, and in order to want to do anything other than sleep. This I find disconcerting.

I am eating an Otter Pop and it is delicious. I wish I could make myself work on something, but I think I will read instead.

Here's the other thing

I think you need to spend more than one season in Antarctica to really get it. It's like...hmmm...Synergy. Not to say that Synergy is a hierarchical society in a confined space full of crazy people and too much alcohol. I love Synergy. But in order to feel like you get it, you need to stay for more than one year and assume a role in the place. Or at least in order for the crazy to really sink in.

When you get here to McMurdo, you are just off-balance, dealing with the way the sun shines all the time and your nose bleeds because it's so cold and your hands are cracked from the dry air and the mandatory hand-washing and there are almost 1,000 people you have never met leering at you (if you are female). And what you don't notice is that all of these people (who are naturally very interesting) are doing interesting things with their time all the time which isn't always just drinking. Often the drinking involves other things too. For example, in the past week or so we had an art party at the carpentry shop that was full of exhibits and food fights in tyvek suits, a funk concert in the waste barn, jello wrestling with the mechanics, a film festival in the galley, and a skinny-dipping event with the Kiwis. Now I was working for about half of these things and was therefore not able to attend, but I am seeing. The key may be to keep coming back, being more and more in the know, and not having to deal with as much social weird because you've already got enough friends.

Anyway I am back in a mood of appreciating Antarctica etc. Happy Sunday. Leaving the continent in a month to go hike New Zealand!

Sheer bragging

Yesterday I received the following email:

"Congratulations!

You have been selected to participate in an upcoming morale trip to
Room With A View
by snow machine to the side of Mount Erebus

Monday, January 26, 2008!
Report to the 2nd floor FSTP breakroom, in the SSC, no later than 1:00 p.m. Monday
WEARING YOUR ECW GEAR!

Please do not be late.

This is a half-day event, and you will return to station at by dinnertime (sooner if the weather sours). On this trip, you will snow machine up to 1,400 feet on Mt. Erebus. This is the point where the Hut Peninsula joins the main body of Ross Island, and it offers a tremendous view of the Erebus Glacier Tongue and the open water in the McMurdo Sound.

You will be riding on snow machines, so wear your warmest ECW gear, including fleece, wind bibs, parka, a hat, mittens, and bunny boots. Wear your warmest/thickest gloves, neck gaiter (highly recommended for comfort when wearing a skidoo helmet), sunscreen, sunglasses, and goggles. Also bring a full water bottle and, of course, a camera! Make sure to bring along extra snacks, hot water for coco and tea will be provided.
You will be back for dinner.

If you are unable to attend, please let the Chalet know by
10:00 am Monday.

· You have been given the half the day off by your supervisor to participate in this activity.

· You will riding on skidoos and will be expected to follow all instructions given to you by the trip leaders.

· If bad weather cancels the trip, it will be rescheduled on another day (or at another location) and you will be moved to the new day pending supervisor approval. The Chalet will keep you updated if there is a change.

· If you are sick or cannot attend the morning of the trip, call the Chalet at 10:00 am sharp!

Thanks, and have a great trip!"

Sometimes I love everything about Antarctica.

Annoying rich globe-trotting ladies eating pasta...hmmm.

I think I am getting a little too worked up about hating Eat Pray Love. Sure, it's a best selling book by a really annoying lady who can't write and seems to think that all it takes is four months on an ashram and a good Latin lover to find fulfillment (a prescription, by the way, far out of reach for most people who are having a midlife crisis). But really, it's nothing that should make me angry for a good hour after I finish reading it. I don't understand how my mind works.

Reworking

I think I have lost something cool about myself in order to be cooler. The other day one of my Antarctican friends told me that when he met me he thought I was "too cool for school." Which I thought was hilarious, because me? My friends and I were literally called "The Nerd Herd" in middle school. And I didn't really care. (Actually I did care, because I was in middle school.) But I suppose I have learned how to project a certain hipness, a certain indifference and cynicism and love for celebrity fashion blogs (why?). But I think all this hip is bad for the soul. It's like smoking--it looks good, and it feels good, but it rots you slowly.

I was thinking about this because I am thinking about working with teenagers again and I'm not sure I have the same inner security that I used to and that you need to work with teenagers. Do I want to be a role model? I drink a lot.

Hopefully will regain bearings once I am back on a continent that is less weird. Ok.

On a kind of related note, yesterday I bought a t-shirt that says "You don't have to be crazy to work here...We'll train you!" with a big picture of Antarctica. So true.

Professional dispatcher

I think I may be working as a dispatcher in Yosemite this summer! I talked to the people and they sounded stoked, I am stoked, I get to live in a cabin in Yosemite, yes sir. Love it.

Things I do like

1. Mexican food day in the mess hall
2. The view of Mt. Discovery from my back deck
3. Firemen and women
4. Free yoga classes
5. The fact that it's snowing right now

more things I am sure

Things I don't like

Has some engaged dude ever followed you into the bathroom and tried to make out with you on your birthday while you were trying to peacefully drink champagne out of a can in a hut in Antarctica? Well, I hate it when that happens. Because really, the more he says "But it wouldn't mean anything!" the more I think oh good, I would mean so little to you that I could be one of those neat footnotes you tell your buds at the bachelor party and never even feel guilty about because I am that special thanks. Except not, because I said Hell no buddy, and then locked the bathroom door behind me with dignity and grace.

Note to engaged guys: maybe your fiance would not find out. Maybe she wouldn't even care. But I'm not really looking to start relationships of any kind with guys who have made a promise to only love some other woman for the rest of their life.

This is not meant in any way to judge you, if engaged guys are your thing.